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Ashley Paige

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[31 Jul 2006|11:15pm]
i've always been a happy person.

but i can honestly say i've never felt more alive and happy than i feel now.
3 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[09 Jul 2006|11:55am]
i've never felt so good about being a vegetarian

this movie was disturbing

check it out:
You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

i want to feel infinite in the worst way [08 Jul 2006|11:17am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

june was my bad month, but july has come through for me. i feel as though this month will be excellent, as the first week has gone well.

news as of late:
my friend rachel strole got married, i went to her little reception type thing. we were hanging out with some other young people who were married. it was cool to see people young and in love. it made me realize how i really do desire marriage, and i would get married young. but i suppose in order to get married, i need to date someone which hasn't happened yet, but someday. i'm not worried.

i still don't know whether or not i want to go back to school in the fall. i actually know that i don't want to go, but i haven't decided whether or not i will go. i'm sure i will end up staying in school, but i wish society didn't tell me that i have to do that or i will be an adult failure. some of the best adults i know didn't go to college, and i'm ok with being a poor little social worker anyway. i can do that at this juncture in my education so i'm finding little motivation to continue.

i was getting so sick and tired of just sitting around, so i'm actually seeking out doing new things. last night, marc, brandon, and i midnight movied it up, it was evil dead 2 and i loved it. today the three of us are hitting up mass moca, which will be amazing as it always tends to be. i'm also considering going cliff jumping because it sounds like much fun.

i've been listening to lots of new music lately, and it makes me wish to be creative and instrumental, alas i don't believe i have the talent. maybe i'll try and be artsy in another way because i am left-handed, which should make me quite the creative girl.

that's it for now. life is good, and i think it will continue to be so.

1 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[04 Jul 2006|12:36pm]
tonight holds potential for magic
You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[18 Jun 2006|12:30pm]
[ mood | happy ]

first update in awhile

this week in adultland was rough. things beyond my control went wrong and although i don't get angry often this week i was definatly in a bad mood. we had no power for five days, windows broke in the house, i was sexually harassed, and i worked way too many hours. i reevaluated on saturday though and decided i don't really like angry ashley, and became chill ashley again and it was good. it's funny how when you consciously put your mind to it, you can change your mood and outlook.

new news in the apartment: we now have two (soon to be three) kitties living with us. they are amazing and i'm in love with them. although this doesn't bode well for mr. kewely because of his allergy, i still think they are a nice addition to our home.

also, i'm thinking about applying for a job as a case manager in a mental health facility. i think it would be a good fit for me. but we shall see.

i also saw an inconvienent truth. the al gore movie about global warming. i recommend it highly to anyone. it was really well done and good to watch. it was impressive how much of an impact that one person (al gore) has had with a specific issue. It shows just how much each person can do.

that's it for now, call me so we can chill.

1 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[27 Mar 2006|05:03pm]
apartment life is still great. it's really nice to be out on my own, it makes me feel responsible. life has been so busy though, i really can't wait for this semester to end.

i'll be going to suny albany in the fall i guess, i'm sure it will be a good time hopefully, and i think sticking with school right now is the right decesion.

i've also come to see how everyone is a hypocrite at some time in their life. this isn't directed at others, more at myself. i see ways in which i have done hypocritical things, but then i wonder if maybe i'm just changing and my viewpoints are changing. everyone does things that are hypocritical at somepoints so i think i shouldn't judge them for it because i do it too. i remember being so angry when my parents were hypocrites but maybe i should have cut them a break.

so things are really good, i'm still happy, but busy. sorry if i'm hard to get in touch with. but if anyone ever wants to come over, my apartment is always open for anyone.
1 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[01 Mar 2006|03:33pm]
move in day was a success

i'm ultra stoked about this apartment

i have class tonight, i'd rather be finishing unpacking...

more excitement: loribeth is coming tomorrow!
You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[25 Feb 2006|07:48pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

somehow i manage to get myself into this situation again and again. i don't know if it will ever end up the way i wish it to, or if i'm crossing a line i shouldn't. am i doing something wrong? i must have some lesson to learn through this, like maybe i haven't done it right in the past and that's why it keeps finding me.

i'm hoping i get it right this time.

You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[18 Feb 2006|08:41pm]
[ mood | happy ]

the prospects of a road trip and a show are hanging over my head tonight

tomorrow: boston, brandon, kelly, and flogging molly

what a lovely combination

You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

allison did it and now i want to... [15 Feb 2006|11:46pm]
http://kevan.org/johari?name=punkrockchick3 -the positive
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=punkrockchick34 and the negative

fill them out kids...
You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[13 Feb 2006|08:28pm]
[ mood | excited ]

so it's official
i'm a big kid now because....

as of march 1st abbey and i will be moving into an apartment in albany. and i couldn't be more excited. so my bedroom will be tiny tiny tiny, but the apartment is nice, and it will be awesome to finally be out on my own.

3 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

great song [02 Jan 2006|01:38pm]
So this is the new year.
And i don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.

So this is the new year
You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

i do this every year, and you should too [30 Dec 2005|09:33am]
the infamous new years surveyCollapse )
4 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

survey-tastic [19 Dec 2005|07:30pm]
[three words that sum you up]: easy-going, happy, fun
[jewelry worn daily]: one set of earring, industrial, cartilidge piercing, eyebrow piercing, bracelet i made from the plastic thing in a soda bottle cap
[wallet]: blue with a bombers burrito bar sticker on it
[coffee]: cream and sugar, but i'm in love with it
[shoes]: chucks or vans slip ons mostly
[cologne/perfume]: tommy girl
[clothing you have on]: jeans, taking back sunday shirt, and england track jacket

[wishing]: that's for me to know, and you to not know
[after this]: i'll be doing nothing really
[talking to]: allison on aim
[eating]: i'm not
[fetishes]: ummm...none really
[some favorite movies]: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, kill bills, high fidelity, empire records, just to name a few
[something you're looking forward to]: a month with some cool kids
[last thing you ate]: chocolate pudding
[something you’re afraid of]: not really afraid, but curious if i'll end up alone forever
[if you could have any animal as a pet]: a dog that is so big that when it runs into you, you fall over
[cities you wouldn’t mind moving too]: my first choice-london, or boston
[some favorite foods]: pizza, chinese food, bombers burritos
[something -or someone- you wish you could understand better]: why is my life so easy when others is so so difficult?
[miss someone you haven't seen in a long time]: katryn belke for sure

[like candles]: yes
[like company]: yes
[believe in soul mates]: yes
[believe in love at first sight]: no
[believe in forgiveness]: heck yes i do
[want to get married]: yes
[want to have kids]: yes
[ever want to adopt kids]: yes

[cried]: no
[bought something]: yes
[gotten sick]: no
[sang]: of course
[eaten]: yes
[been kissed]: no
[felt stupid]: i don't think so...
[wanted to tell someone you love them, but you didn't]: not love them, but i do have a crush that i considered telling. ha. i'm a loserface.
[talked to an ex]: no
[talked to someone you have a crush on]: no
[had a serious talk]: yes
[missed someone]: yes
[hugged someone]: nope
[argued with a parent(s)]: no
[dreamt about someone you can't be with]: don't remember my dream last night

[best girl friend(s)]: allison, loribeth
[best guy friend(s)]: matt, brandon
[boyfriend/girlfriend]: nope
[hobbies]: reading, music, hanging out, going to shows
[pager/cell]: finally a cell phone
[are the you the center of attention or a wallflower]: i don't choose or need to be but sometimes i'm the center of attention, but not all the time. and i'm never a wallflower
[car you drive]: chevy malibu
[would you rather be with friends or on a date]: probably friends
[job]: professor javas
[attend church]: yup
[like being around people]: pretty much all the time

[who is your role model]: i dont know
[pet peeves]: cockyness
[ever liked someone you can't be with]: yes
[ever wanted to get revenge on someone cause they hurt you]: no
[cried over the opposite sex]: yes
[your favorite physical appearance]: eyes and hair
[are you happy with yourself]: yes
[what plans do you have for the future]: i'm not sure
[who do you really hate]: i don't hate anyone
[who's your most trustworthy family member]: probably my mom
3 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[07 Dec 2005|10:09pm]
[ mood | good ]

a guy i volunteer with at the damien center told me today that he thinks he's a better funner person around me.

it's nice to hear i'm doing something for someone and i thought it was cool he told me.

that was the high point of my day

You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

a fairy tale story [07 Dec 2005|10:19am]
[ mood | brave ]

i feel on top of the world right now. there's really nothing to explain this feeling, but i feel like i can do anything and be anything and nothing will keep me down. i'm being independent and exploring new things. i switched up colleges and i have no idea what next year holds, and that feeling is one of the best ever. who knows, maybe next year i'll be in a different country, you never know where life is going to take you. matt and i are going to some country in the summer and i can't wait. i have no idea where or even what month, but i know it will be amazing. exploring new cultures is the best thing ever. i'm submerging myself in an indie subculture. i've been introduced to more new bands this year than ever, i'm trying new things (like sushi) and watching indie flicks with some people that i didn't know until recently. i feel sad for people who feel out of control when they don't know whats happening next, because not knowing what's happening, and accepting what comes can be the most liberating thing in the world. basically i'm 19 and i've never felt more alive and present in the world. i have a whole life to stop and settle down, and when it's time for that it will be great, but for now, why not be spontaneous, try new things, and make the most of this time in my life that i can.

i have a strong desire to leave a lasting impression.i want to be creative, and produce something meaningful. i want to write, paint, or do something else creative just to get it all out into the world. i'm really thinking about picking up an instrument, either the guitar or the trombone (because someday, i dream of forming a ska band)

i'm going on an adventure, does anyone want to come along?

1 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[29 Nov 2005|03:19pm]
today was pretty close to perfection.
You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[29 Nov 2005|12:34am]
sleep is failing me tonight.
i feel tired but my brain won't stop.
it's nothing bad really, i'm just restless.
i have to get up tomorrow, so this is bad.

i looked through my senior yearbook tonight, read all the things people wrote. it was kinda sad cause everyone had so much hope we'd stay in touch and i really haven't. sometimes i think about stuff like this and i think i just gloss over the past and make it all perfection, but i do miss some people.

i'm gonna try and sleep.
You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[23 Nov 2005|10:21am]
so my birthday was amazing.

i went to boston for an ansel adams exhibit in this museum with lisa, chris, and charis. it was awesome. i really like hanging out with them, and we all get along well so it was a good time. plus i finally had sushi cause i had been talking to chris for a few weeks about finally having the sushi experience so he wanted to make sure i got some. and it was delicious, i loved it.

overall, i felt real loved yesterday. basically everyone cool called to wish me a happy birthday and it was nice, i had a lot of messages when i got home.

this weekend is going to be insanity. so many plans with so many people, plus loribeth is staying at my house. it'll be a good time at least.
1 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

[13 Nov 2005|07:46pm]
so guess what i just found out

the one and only nofx will be playing a show in worchester mass in march.

anyone up for going, cause i really want to.

punk-rockers unite!
6 Still Vulnerable| You'd Like to Think That You Were Invincible

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